Ever start writing a long-ass post only to realize hours later that it sucks? That’s happened more than once over the last couple of weeks. Perhaps it’s the demands of work. I don’t know. Although, it could be this insane weather we’re having where I live. I mean, come on, in what bizarro place am I living when after mowing my lawn it starts snowing two days later? Apparently, the annoying predicament is humorously referred to as “smowing.” That’s pretty funny. Anyway, “Pooh” Jason (aka: “dursnap”) is a player in my current B/X D&D game, and he just shared a new piece of art inspired by one of our sessions involving a raid on the village of Moon Lake and the Wandering Goblin Tables from a previous post. Warning, the image contains grotesque goblin nudity. Without further rambling, I give you The Maidens of Bloated One!
AC: 3 (9), HD: 9*, MV: 180′ (60′)/120′ (40′), #AT: 1 gore or blow, DMG: 2-12, No. App: 1-3 (1-4), SV: F9, MR: 10, TT: C, AL: Chaotic
The Bloated One’s Maidens are grossly obese female goblins devoted to the Bloated One. They are also shapeshifters capable of assuming a beastly form resembling something akin to a huge swine interbred with a fat goblin that runs on four fat legs. In this monstrous form, they are capable to goring victims with huge yellow tusks. Their corpulent bodies are covered in festering sores that leak a pale yellow puss. Goblins refer to this puss as the Nectar of the Bloated One. Maidens will ritually have their sores pumped for the puss-nectar by young shaman acolytes. The nectar is then later used in a communion-like ritual to bring goblin-kin closer to oleaginous embrace of the Bloated One.
Favored by the Bloated One, the maidens are also capable of charming friend and foe alike, and they are capable of such charms in either goblin or swine-goblin form (per Charm Spell, 3 times per day, -2 to saving throws). Maidens may have a number of charmed goblin acolytes or dwarven slaves under their control at any given time (0-3 charmed slaves, 1d4-1). It is well-known among goblin-kin that the goblin king is the offspring of a Maiden of the Bloated One.
*The Maiden’s stats are reskinned Devil Swine from Cook’s D&D Expert volume, p. X30.
I was tempted to draw another goblin licking puss off her ass.
That may have been a bit much, even for me! And now I have that raw image in my mind before bed. Thanks. Bro, I may have to put a parental warning on my site with comments like that.